Be careful what you wish for…

October 22, 2006

A while back when I was working for a large corporation I wished I had the chance to spend more time for myself. Well true enough I got what I wished for. It just hits you. KAPOW!!! It’s not that I regret it. It’s just that I realized how unprepared I was when it happened. That’s almost twenty years of coporate employment in three large corporations. You work your butt off, rise up in the corporate ladder, and at the end of the day what do show for your accomplishment? Experience. That’s all what I got to say.

All those trainings to learn new technologies and management philosophies only become relevant at the time you had it. After a couple of years you had to learn another set. In order to survive, companies have to beat out the competition, excel, and gain a larger market share. That’s the rule in the business world. Or is it the rule in our world?

Don’t get me wrong. I actually liked and longed for it. Competitive spirit gives me an adrenalin rush and somehow, even for a brief moment, gives a sense of self satisfaction that I had a part in achieving a level of success or accomplishment. But the thing is, the world evolves and changes over time. Your success and accomplishment fades with it. And as one matures you actually get less motivated to compete. I call it, “going over the hump”. You reach for the top, and once you get there, you go over it. You cannot hold on to it because if you do, you’ll be left behind and bragging rights simply moves on to the next. It is a humbling experience.

So if companies evolve, you have to evolve with it whether you like it or not. And if you don’t fit in, you don’t belong there. That was the decision I had to make when I decided to leave. I left, not because I got fed up with the system, it’s because I’ve earned my dues and it was time to move on.

Now I have all the time in the world. But it also comes at its own price. I guess that’s how its always been. Theres always a price to everything we want. And now that I got what I wished for, what have I been doing? Well for starters, I finally had the time to take up a masters degree and will be finishing hopefully next year. After a few misses, I finally started a small business that I’m comfortable with, a business where I can aptly apply my expertise and years of experience. A technopreneur in a small way.
And the price I have to pay for this freedom? I had to give up my regular source of monthly income and benefits which is something one can easily get accustomed to, the privilege of working in a big corporation, and the people you thought were your friends.

I took a risk and this is the price. No regrets. I’m starting over and not many people get this opportunity. The chance to redefine oneself. I guess the reason people don’t want to stop what they are doing is because they will loose momentum. True, it’s difficult to stop a moving object and harder to move from a static position. But do we actually have a sense of direction where we are going? That is the question we should ask ourselves before we wish for something else. And to know what we want is a true test of character. Be careful, once you get it, you might not handle the responsibility and price that comes with it.

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